52 in 52 Book Summaries

Book Summary: Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman

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The Essence

What are the requirements for a successful life? Many would answer this question by describing intelligence in one form one another, and its capacities to lead to a happier life; yet the research states otherwise. Writer Daniel Goldman reports that our how our current metric for accessing success cannot be complete without considering our capacities to navigate the emotional world. In fact, he argues, it is those who are emotional competent that tend to live happier, more fulfilling lives. Though these skills are not gifted to a preordained few, but available to all of us. Emotional Intelligence is a practical guide on how to develop a conversation between the intermingling systems that rule our day-today decisions; the rational and emotional circuits in the brain are, and will never be separate.

Emotional Intelligence Journal Entry Notes:

This is my book summary of Emotional Intelligence. My notes are a reflection of the journal write up above. Written informally, the notes contain a mesh and mix of quotes and my own thoughts on the book. Sometimes, to my own fault, quotes are interlaced with my own words. Though rest assured, I am not attempting to take any credit for the main ideas below. The Journal write up includes important messages and crucial passages from the book.

  • Academic intelligence has little to do with emotional life.
  • Emotional Intelligence consists of things like…
    Keeping distress from swamping the ability to think.
    The ability to motivate one self.
    Controlling impulse.
    Regulating ones mood.
    Empathizing.
    Delaying gratification.
    Hope.
    Persisting in the face of frustrations.
  • Leadership is not domination, but the art or persuading people to work toward a common goal.
  • We need to be able to control ourselves to do right by others. It takes character to keep emotion under the control of personhood.
  • The old paradigm held an ideal of reason freed from the pull of emotion. The new paradigm urges us to harmonize ‘head and heart’ we must understand what it means to use emotion intelligently.
  • Listening is a skill that keeps relationships going.
  • “Anger is never without reason, but seldom a good one” Benjamin Franklin
  • “Stress makes people stupid”

Each domain of EQ represents a body of habit and response that can be improved.

Knowing One’s Emotions

  • Be attuned to feelings
  • Self-awareness: recognizing a feeling as it happens.
  • Emotions that simmer beneath threshold of awareness can have a power impact on how we perceive and react, even though we have no idea.
  • One to see criticism as valuable information about how to do better not as a personal attack.

Managing Emotions

  • Suffering can temper the soul. Offer a constructive contribution.
  • Handling feeling so they are appropriate.
  • “You can change the wat you feel by what you think” –Martian Seligman
  • The goal is balance, not emotional suppression: every feeling has value and significance.
  • The longer we ruminate about what has made us angry, the more “good reasons” and self-justifications for being angry we invent.

Motivating Oneself

  • Marshaling emotions in the service of a goal.
  • Resist impulse.
  • Students who are anxious, angry, or depressed don’t learn; people caught in these states do not take information efficiently or deal with it well.
  • If we are preoccupied by worries that we’re going to fail, we have much less attention to expand upon figuring out the answers. Our worries become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Recognizing Emotion in Others

  • Empathy, a fundamental “People Skill”
  • The key to intuiting another’s feelings is in the ability to read nonverbal channels.
  • Empathy requires calm and receptivity.

Handling Relationships

  • Managing emotions ion others.
  • Handling emotions in someone else requires the ripeness of two other emotional skills: self-management and empathy.
  • Emotions are contagious
  • Two cardinal sins that almost always lead to rejection are trying to lead to soon and being out of synch with the frame of reference.
  • Components of interpersonal intelligence:
    Organizing groups
    Social analysis
    Negotiating solutions
    Personal connections

If you liked what you saw. Here are 3 titles that I recommend based on what was discussed in Emotional Intelligence.

  1. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck
  2. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry
  3. Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman

Find the book on Amazon: Print | Audio

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